God = Dad

Writing with an abundantly grateful heart today.

A few weeks ago I was at a young adult gathering that I go to every week and during worship I couldn't seem to focus on anything. Overall, I don't tend to be a worrier, but it had been one of those weeks where I had been a little discouraged and worried about my immediate finances and about fundraising for YWAM. I decided to just sit down and pray for some kind of focus and against any distraction that was seriously a clanging gong in my head. The Lord immediately brought to my mind the trust I had in my (earthly) father growing up. He started reminding me that I never once worried about missing a meal, not having clothes to wear, or having a lack of toys/gadgets to play with. As a kid, I was totally oblivious to our finances. I know we had our high points, and I know we had our really low points, but through the ups and downs I never had an inkling of a doubt that my dad was going to provide for me...and he is a sinful, earthly, human man. But I had all the faith in the world that he would provide for my needs. The realization of that truth hit me like a ton of bricks and I started repenting for my lack of faith in my HEAVENLY FATHER...who is GOD, faultless, perfect, holy, and faithful (among a trillion other truths about Him). If I could trust in this man I have been blessed with as a guiding light on this earth, HOW MUCH MORE should I trust in the ALMIGHTY.

Throughout the next 2 weeks, He began showing Himself to me as Father like never before (probably because I was trying to actually seek Him and not acting as a bystander in my relationship with Him, which happens all too often in my life). The truth that "God is my dad" and "my dad is God" really began to sink in. While reading Forgotten God (Francis Chan), He reminded me that I have received the Spirit of adoption (we, as believers, are NOT orphans!) and how much does the Father wants to lavish His love on His kids! (Read Ephesians 1). I decided that with this simple truth, I would lay aside my worries and fears and just depend on my Heavenly dad.

Fast forward a week and I'm worrying again (why do I do this???). I was packing up some things to move to my parents house and getting a list of to do's done before I left for the booming metropolis of Jackson, TN. One of those things being, I HAD to get my oil changed. Knowing I would be surviving on the bare minimum for the rest of the week, it wasn't something I could bypass. While waiting on my oil change, I was informed that my 'serpentine belt' was majorly cracked and that if it broke, my car wouldn't run. They couldn't tell me for sure when it would break but wanted to let me know. It was something I just could not afford. I leave there and call my parents to get their advice. Since this was not the first time I had been prompted about said belt, I was advised to go ahead and change it...which completely overwhelmed me. But my parents, being the wonderful people they are, said they would pay for this one. Even knowing this, it's just something I didn't want to do. I didn't want to use their money, but I wouldn't even be able to drive to Jackson if I used mine. I went to the auto shop and left my car overnight. The next morning I was still complaining about something always being wrong with my car, but went to pick up my car knowing 'it will be ok.' I walk in, tell them which car was mine, and they say "No charge."....I'm sorry "what?" "Yep, no charge. I'll go get your car." My only thought was that my parents called the payment in so I didn't have to worry about it. I called my mom on the drive home and she informed me that they in fact did NOT pay for it. So...I went back, partly because we were all questioning if they'd done anything to it. I went in and asked them about it...and same answer "No ma'am, no charge." I was completely thrown off guard. They did in fact change the belt, and I don't know if someone paid for it or they just saw the desperation in my face, but all I can say is that God my Father took care of me, even in my lack of faith in Him! So Thank YOU, Dad. Even though I'm a pretty bad child and don't always trust You, You still provide.

Sometimes His provision isn't that tangible, and sometimes it isn't given to us in the ways we think it should be, but either way, He is Father and He is Good. He is even better than we think or give Him credit for. And so when I lose faith again, because my dumb human tendencies will undoubtedly lead me that way, I hope I can remember all of the things He has provided for me and all the promises He has given to me. The best one being I am an heir to the Kingdom of God.

Since this simple truth has made a profound impact on me, I have been even more convicted to sit down, get alone, and spend time with Him so that I can truly live in relationship. This could not be a harder task for me. One because I LOVE being around people and two because I have 5 roommates...But I know that without spending time with Him, I will not grow and I will not act out of the love of the Father.

So, I sit here thankful. Thankful for my earthly parents who have guided me in this life, provided for me, and been wonderful examples as followers of Christ. Thankful for a brother who is pastoring the next generation and who is a fantastic sibling that I look up to. Thankful for my beautiful, talented, hilarious, God-fearing roommates who I learn from everyday and are there for me whenever I need them. Thankful for these last 2 years in Nashville, that through my highs and lows have molded and shaped me to be who I am today and for all the people God has put in my life in this lovely city. Thankful for future adventures. And most important, thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves me always, unconditionally, and without fault.